


Until we meet again

by Trashcanniballecter



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, College, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Not Really Character Death, Reunions, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 04:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17359331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashcanniballecter/pseuds/Trashcanniballecter
Summary: Matt makes a friend at the children's hospital.





	1. Everything

**Author's Note:**

> I really just liked the idea of Matt and Foggy knowing each other as kids. Then I made it a bit sad. Don't worry it gets happy at the end. Just not this chapter. Any comments are greatly appreciated!

Everything is too  _Loud_

It  _Hurts_

Matt can't  _See_ and he's so so scared.

Every sound is like a physical blow. The worried voices exclaiming "Oh God he's just a little boy." are surrounding him, pressing in, a heavy weight pinning him to the ground. There's a frantic sound like beating drums in his ears. 

Matt can't focus on anything. It's all  _too much._ everything is loud and painful and he  _can't see._

"You're gonna be ok Matty. You're gonna be ok." Jack is only barely keeping his voice calm while frantically wiping the chemicals from Matt's unseeing eyes. 

Everyone's voices are so loud. The wail of sirens are getting too close, stabbing at Matt's eardrums. It's all too much.

Too much noise. Too many smells. Too much pain. It is all too much to take in at once. Matt can't keep up. Matt losses consciousness just before the ambulance arrives. 

~   ~   ~   ~ 

Awareness hits Matt like a ton of bricks. Everything coming at him in waves. First the Smell. The horrible stinging scent of cleaner, sour vomit and sweat, the coppery smell of blood. Next came the sounds. The sounds of crying, why was there so much crying? Voices all talking at once, pain and heartbreak, concern, hope, fighting, laughter, and children's cartoons? There was also the sounds of machines, so many machines. A constant beeping and whirring, chirping and creaking coming from all over. And then the Pain hits. So much pain all over. What's happening? Matt opens his eyes and sees Nothing. Oh God, the truck. He can't  _See._

Someome is screaming.

Familiar calloused hands are cupping Matts face and fingers are running soothingly through his hair.

"Shhh, shhh Matty it's ok. I'm here. Daddy's here. I got you baby, it's all going to be ok." Oh, Matt was the one who was screaming.

"Matty, you're in the hospital, buddy. I'm here with you, I got you, the doctor is going to tell us everything and you'll be ok." Matt doesn't know if he believes the last part but he wants to. He wants to be ok.

 ~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's blind now.

That's what the doctor tells them. All his other injuries from the accident will heal just fine but he'll be blind for the rest of his life. The doctor is a nice woman, she tell them how to get into contact with people who can help. Therapists, social workers, Braille tutors, and financial aid. Jack is greatful but Matt is still so scared. 

The world doesn't quite down.

 ~   ~   ~   ~

About a week into Matt's stay in the children's hospital he gets moved into a new room. Room 312. There is another kid in there with him. They are asleep when Matt's brought in. They're snoring. They smelled  _wrong._

_~   ~   ~   ~_

Matt's roommate is awake now. They make an excited little noise in their throat when they finally spot Matt.

"Oh! You must be my new roomie. Cool, it was getting boring in here. Hi, I'm Frankie." Frankies voice is quite but friendly, a bit weak but Matt likes it. 

"Umm I'm Matt. Matt Murdock." Frankies heartbeat speeds up a bit at Matt's name.

"I read about you in the paper! You saved that old guy, you're a hero!" Frankie sound awestruck, like he's meeting Captain America in the flesh. Like Matt is someone important.

"I'm really not a hero." Matt's face feels hot. He doesn't know how to react. He really really doesn't feel like a hero. He never even wanted to be a hero. He just wanted to do the right thing, and look where that's gotten him. "Anyone would have done it."

"But it wasn't just anyone who saved him. It was you. Saving a life seems pretty heroic to me." Frankie sounds so geuine. 

It's . . . nice.

"Why do you have bandages over your eyes? Are you ok?" He sounds so genuinely concerned about Matt. It made something warm bloom in Matts chest.

"The truck I was hit by was carrying some weird chemicals. They spilled and got into my eyes. I'm" Matt's voice waivers and his breath hitches. "I'm Blind now."

"That sucks. You'll be ok though, right? Hey, I can describe our room to you if you want?"

"Yeah, I'll be ok. I think I'd like that."

"Good, good. Ok! Um, our room's not very big. All the walls are like a powder-y blue? Think baby bedroom. We got a medium sized window but I can only see the sky from my bed so I can't say what's outside. Sorry. Uh, we have our own bathroom to the right of the door. It's pretty tiny. Our beds are straight across from each other. Hi. Oh, I just waved. There's a bunch of machines and stuff hooked up to us. We also have tv's but they are mounted to the wall? There's some chairs around and that's everything in here." Frankie sounds a bit out of breath.

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"You're in here too. Can you tell me what you look like? If you don't mind"

"Oh, uh, sure buddy. I think we'd be the same height standing? And I think we're the same age? Your 9 too, right? Um, my eyes are blue-y green? I have- er, had blonde hair. We had to shave it. Uh, sorry, I'm not really doing a good job of this am I?" Frankie sounds so unsure now and Matt feels guilty about putting him on the spot.

"No, no you're doing fine. Thank you." Matt likes that Frankie is making the effort for him. He seems like a really nice kid.

"I'd offer to go over there and let you feel my face but we're both hooked up to a bunch of machines and getting into my wheelchair by myself is difficult. Also I don't know if face touching is really a first meeting thing?" Frankie laughs a bit awkwardly.

"I'm not really sure either. I don't really know how the face touching thing works yet?" He really doesn't. It'll probably be brought up in occupational therapy. "You have a wheelchair?" Frankie hadn't mentioned it while describing the room.

"Oh yeah this is all new for you huh? Uh, yeah. I'm here for my hip. It's got some kind of cancer in it? I think the doctors called it Ewing's sarcoma or something? I'm staying for chemotherapy." Frankie sounds more subdued now. He obviously doesn't like talking about this.

Something cold seems to wrap around Matt's heart and squeezes.

Cancer. Frankie has  _cancer._ He's just a kid and he has  _Cancer._ Matt had only known one person with cancer in his life. His grandmother. He remembers how sick she was before she died. From cancer, which Frankie has. Matt can't help thinking how unfair it is for someone so young and so kind to be so  _sick._

As if Frankie can sence where Matt's thoughts are going, or maybe to distract himself, he suddenly changes the subject.

"So Matty! Can I call you Matty? Let's get to know each other! Ya married? Have any kids?" The abrupt change in tone and ridiculous questions manage to startle a laugh out of Matt. It's the first time Matt's laughed since the accident.

"Woefully single I'm afraid." Playing along is nice. "You can call me Matty." He says after a beat.

"Shoulda known. Ya got the look of a heartbreaker, Matty." Frankie sounds like he's barely holding back laughter. 

"Well I'm sure a nice fella like you has a lovely wife at home." 

"Yep,  beautiful wife and 4 sons!" Frankie isn't bothering to hold back his giggles now. 

"Four sons! Must be a handful." 

 "They are but Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo and Raphael are good boys." Matt perks up at the familiar names.

"You like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?" 

"Dude, it's my favorite show!"

"Me too!"

"Maybe I can get my family to bring some of my action figures from home! We can play with them together! Uh, only if you want to though." Frankies excited tone takes on a slightly hesitant tint near the end. For someone so enthusiastic and friendly he seems a bit shy.

"I would like that a lot actually." Matt's cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling. Frankie isn't treating him like he's made of glass, he probably hates that too, he's treating him like a friend. Matt's never really had a friend before.

 ~   ~   ~   ~

"Hold out your hands." Frankie was sitting in his wheelchair next to Matt's bed when he gets back from having some tests run.

"What?"

"Just hold out your hands, ok?" He sounds excited so Matt holds out his hands and waits.

Something plastic is placed gently into his had. He runs his fingers against the familiar shapes of it. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

"Yup! My family is here to visit today and they brought them with them. They're getting some lunch right now though. You have Michelangelo. Feel honored, he's my favorite."

"I feel very honored." And he does. That warm feeling in his chest is back again. He can't help but smile as he continues to run his fingers along the toy.

~   ~   ~   ~

The Nelsons, Matt learns, are a big friendly family. Frankies parents, grandparents and baby sister managed to fit in Matt and Frankie's small room, but only just. 

They're cheerful but Matt can hear a hint of worry in their voices. They hide it well though. They don't want to make Frankie sad.

They're good people.

Just like Frankie.

What surprises Matt is that they don't ignore him at all. They all introduce themselves, well except Candace because she's a baby, and try to keep him in their conversations. 

Mrs. Nelson, "call me Anna, dear.", is what Matt has always imagined Moms to be like. Caring and warm. She smells like apples, cinnamon and baby powder. And the hug she gives him, after asking if it would be ok, is gentle but firm and comforting. Matt adores her. The rest of the Nelsons, Frankies dad Edward, Grandpa Franklin, Grandma Barbara and baby sister Candace, are all great but Matt likes Mrs. Nelson the most.

They all treat Matt like he's part of the family. The Murdocks have always been a small family, Just Matt his Dad and his grandmother until she passed. It feels nice to be part of a big family, if only for just a little while.

Matt hopes they'll visit sometime while his Dad is here. They'd probably get along great.

~   ~   ~   ~

"I like them, your family. They're nice."  Matt tells Frankie after the Nelsons get far enough away that he can no longer hear them.

"Great! They liked you too. Which is good, I want them to like my friends."

"I'm your friend?" Matt had already been thinking of Frankie as his friend but hadn't thought the other boy would see him the same way. At least not yet.

"Of course you're my friend! You're great!" Frankie sounds determined to convince Matt of his worth.

"You're my friend too. And I, um, I think you're also pretty great." Matts cheeks feel hot. He absently fiddles with the toy in his hands.

"Then were both great friends then!"

The plastic of Matt's toy squeaks a bit and He remembers that it belongs to Frankie.

"Oh! I still have Mikey. I should give him back to you." Matt starts to move to hand it back, which is silly they are across the room from each other, when Frankie stops him.

"No no, you should hold on to him for me. I'll tell you when I want him back." There's a swish in the air, Frankie must have moved his arms in some kind of dismissive gesture.

"But you said he's your favorite?"

"Yep. And who's better to hold onto him than my friend?" Frankies voice is soft in an odd way. Matt's confused but his grip on the toy tightens a bit.

"Ok. Let me know when you want him back."

"I will." Frankies getting quite again. Matt just nods.

~   ~   ~   ~

"Hey Matty, how ya feeling today, buddy?" Matt's dad just walked in and is coming over to sit next to Matt's bed. Across the from Frankie perks up.

"I'm ok Dad. The doctors just ran a few test today and uh, I made a new friend." Matt must turn towards Frankies bed a bit because he hears Jacks chair creek and Frankie squeaks out a quick "Hi, I'm Frankie."

"Hi Frankie, I'm Jack."

"You're Mattys Dad?" Jack pauses for a moment. Matt rarely let's anyone call him Matty.

"Yeah, I am. Nice to meet you son."

Jack doesn't talk to Frankie as much as the Nelsons talked to Matt. But Jack Murdock has never been a very talkative man. They do talk a bit though. They get along well. Matt's not sure why it's so important to him that they get along, but he's glad.

~   ~   ~   ~

"You didn't tell me you're dad was Battlin' Jack Murdock!" Frankie says in a hushed excited voice a few minutes after Jack leaves for home.

"I didn't know you liked boxing?" He really doesn't seem like the type, then again Matt doesn't really seem like the type either and he practically grew up in Fogwells gym.

"My dad watches all the time. I watch sith him sometimes. He's a big fan of your dad."

"Oh. Cool. Well, they'll probably meet sometime soon. We do share a room."

~   ~   ~   ~

The Nelsons and Jack Murdock never visit at the same time. It's almost funny how they sometime miss each other by minutes.

Mr. Nelson sometimes playfully exaggerates his disappointment, snapping his fingers and saying something along the lines of "dag nabit", to make Matt and Frankie laugh.

Matt still hopes that they'll all meet soon.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's senses still haven't gone back to normal. It's not as bad as the first few days, but it's still pretty awful. Hospitals smell terrible, Matts sheets feel like sandpaper and everything is still too loud. Matt's starting to realize that his senses aren't normal at all. At first he thought it was a one sense goes the others get stronger kinda deal. But this seems different.

Focusing on Frankie makes it better, easier.

Frankie makes everything better.

Matt decides to tell Frankie about his senses.

"So it's not just your other senses making up for the lack of sight?" 

"I thought so at first but I can hear  _heartbeats_ Frankie. Not just the ones on the monitors. The doctors, the nurses, our  _familys._ I can hear them. I hear-," your mom crying when she leaves our room sometimes. "I hear people talking all over the hospital. I can smell everything in the hospital too. It's a lot." Matt's fingernails are digging into the palms of his hands. He just needs Frankie to know, to understand.

"Wow. That sound kinda cool and like, really terrible at the same time. Do you think it's because of whatever those chemicals were?" Matt relaxes. 

"It can be really overwhelming, yeah. It probably was the chemicals."

"Have you told any of the doctors? Or your dad?"

"No, just you. I just, I don't think I should tell them."

"Ok, if you're sure." Frankie doesn't sound too sure. He sounds worried.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt has been practicing getting around with his new cane. Frankie says he's great at it. Matt likes the independence.

Frankie's been having more trouble getting around so now Matt goes over to Frankies bed everyday. They talk for hours. They play with Frankies Ninja Turtles, he still hasn't asked for Mikey back. Sometimes Matt will just hold Frankies hand.

It's nice.

Wonderful.

Just like Frankie.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's been getting better. His wounds are healing well. He's getting his strength back. He's good at navigating with his cane. His senses are still a lot, too much sometimes, but they're nowhere near as bad as the first few days.

Matt's getting better.

But Frankie isn't.

He's getting worse. A lot worse.

He hasn't been able to talk with Matt as much. They don't play much either. Frankie is always so tired an miserable. Sometimes he can't focus when they talk.

Matt still holds his hands.

They feel cold, weak,  _breakable._

The Nelsons aren't as good at hiding their worry anymore. A heavy feeling of sadness and fear hangs over every visit.

Mrs. Nelson cries everytime now.

Frankie has been spending a lot of time sleeping.

Matt's been praying.

The  _wrong_ smell on Frankie has been getting stronger.

Matts scared about what it means.

Matt smiles for Frankie. He laughs and makes jokes. He just wants Frankie to be happy. To be ok. To  _not be sick anymore._

Matt offers to give back Mikey. Frankie still won't let him. Matt just wants Frankie to be ok.

He talks to Frankie. 

He plays.

He paints on a smile and forces a laugh.

He holds Frankies hands and he  _prays._

It's all he can do.

"Good news Mr. Murdock. Your son is almost fully recovered. You can take him home in a few days."

"Mr. And Mrs. Nelson, the chemotherapy doesn't seem to be working. We'll try everything we can but we're not sure if Frankie will make it. We are so so sorry."

Matt's getting better.

Frankies not.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt feels cold. 

His stomach is twisting around itself 

He doesn't want to leave Frankie. Especially not now. Not when Frankie could be . . . gone soon. He wants to stay with Frankie as long as he can. Hold his hand, make him laugh, make him  _be ok._  

But he can't. 

He's leaving today.

"Are you sure you don't want Mikey back now? We don't know-" if " _when_ we'll see each other again." Matt's holding out the toy. Maybe this time Frankie will take it back. Mikey is his favorite, Frankie should have his favorite things.

"I didn't ask for him back yet. You can ask me when we see each other again, because we  _will_ see each other again. You know that, right Matty?" Frankie is gently patting the back of Matt's hand, comforting him. Matt doesn't think he should be the one being comforted.

"Yeah, we'll see each other again." God, he hopes that's true.

"Then hold onto him for me. Promise to take good care of him and I'll promise that we'll be together again. Forever next time." Matt's breath catches in his throat. Forever sounds wonderful.

"Ok I promise."

"Wait! We have to make it a pinkir promise! Everyone knows they're unbreakable." Frankie wraps his pinkie around Matts. For the first time today Matt smiles. "Ok! Now we can promise!" And they do.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you too Matty. Come here." Frankie pulls Matt into a tight hug. Matt trys not to think of how small and fragile Frankie feels, he just presses his face into Frankies neck and holds onto him like a lifeline. 

They don't let go of each other until Matt has to leave.

They'll be together again. Frankie promised.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's been worried about Frankie since he's left the hospital. But he's a bit excited today. He's finally figured out how to make a call on his own. He memorized the hospitals phone number. He's gonna talk to Frankie today.

"Hi, can I speak to Frankie Nelson in room 312?"

"Sorry, Frankie Nelson isn't here with us anymore." The phone is loud when it crashes against the floor but Matt can't hear it over the ringing in his ears. He can't breath around the ice cold iron wrapping around his chest.

Frankie is dead


	2. And I keep moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's world keeps falling apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will get to the happy end soon. I promise.  
> Ps. Comments make me write faster

When Jack finds Matt he's curled up on the floor clutching Frankies toy to his chest and sobbing.

"Matty, baby, what's wrong?" Jack's hand is squeezing Matt's shoulder gently. Trying to give him some level of comfort.

Matt just shakes his head. His knuckles turn white as he clutches the Mikey toy tighter. He takes a shuddering breath and chokes out a single, heartbreaking word 

_"Frankie."_

Matt's sobbing harder now. Jack gathers him up into his arms and rocks him slightly as he murmurs soothing sounds into Matt's hair.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt cries until it feels like he's run out of tears and theb he cries some more. The already sensitive skin around his eyes feels like it's been set on fire. His fingers creak from being clenched too tightly around Frankies Mikey toy for so long 

For the first time in his life Matt curses God.

What kind of God would take Frankie away from the world so soon? Surely God had enough angels already. Why did they have to take  _Matts Angel?_ What kind of God would make Frankie sick in the first place?

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt closes himself of from the world. His dad. Everything. He doesn't talk for days and Jack is worried about him.

"Matty, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I'll always be here for you son. And if I can't help we'll find someone who can, ok?"

Matt just nods silently, a small tendril of warmth curling around the ice in his chest 

~   ~   ~   ~   

Matt starts to come back out of his shell again slowly. Jack nearly cries whe , for the first time in the 2 weeks since he found Matt sobbing on the floor, Matt speaks. He only says 'thank you' when Jack gives him breakfast but it's something. A start. As small as it is, it's progress and Jack holds on to that.

~   ~   ~   ~

The worse days, Matt thinks, are the days where he forgets. He'll be doing well. So well. Talking and smiling again, then he'll think of something he wants to tell Frankie and it all comes crashing down again.

Jack can always tell when Matt has one of those days. He speaks softer and hugs Matt tighter on those days. Trying to fill every moment with love and comfort.

Matt's always the most thankful for his dad then.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's been doing well. He still has bad days where he clutches Mikey to his chest and curls up against his dads side, but those days are getting further apart.

He's even been teaching himself Braille. They couldn't afford the tutor. It's still a bit difficult sometimes but it's nice to be able to read again. He's missed it 

Matt misses a lot of things.

~   ~   ~   ~

Jack finds Matt some books in Braille at a second hand shop. One is full of speeches by Thurgood Marshall.

Matt's obsessed.

~   ~   ~   ~

Jack's been coming home beat up more and more after fights. He has barely won any lately. He never lost like this before Matt was blinded. 

Jack tells Matt not to worry 

They have more money for food now.

Jack tell Matt that he never wants Matt to fight. That he wants Matt to do what he couldn't and use his brains instead of his fists.

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's worried about Jack. He's overhead his dad talking to some men at Fogwells gym that seem dangerous. The way they're talkung to his dad is making him feel nervous.

~   ~   ~   ~

Jack's got a big fight tonight. Against Creel. Matt doesn't care how long he has to stay up, he's going to listeb to this fight.

Jack is winning.

Matt can hear the crowd cheering his Dads name. At home he jumps up and down and cheers along.

There's an odd heaviness in Matt's stomach bu he ignores it and keeps cheering.

The fight is over.

Jack won.

Matt turns off the t.v. and the feeling in his stomach starts to get worse. He shakes it off and goes over to the table to work on his homework.

~   ~   ~   ~

There's a gun shot far too close to the apartment.

Matt doesn't think. He puts on his shoes, grabs his cane and flies out the door.

He can't breathe.

He's never run so fast in his life.

His feet pound against the pavement but he's  _flying._

The only thoughts running through his head are " _Oh God please no" "I have to get there."_ and " _Daddy, Daddy, **Daddy."**_

~   ~   ~   ~

There are already police there when he gets there. One grabs his shoulder when he trys to get through.

"Please let me through. I think thats my dad." Matt pulls away and runs towards what he thinks is his Dads body. Distantly he hears one of the officers say "Oh God. I think the kid's blind." As Matt slams down onto his knees next to the body and runs his fingers along the bodies face.

His Dads face.

"No no  _no No **No Daddy."**_

There's blood on Matt's hands.

So so much blood.

It won't  _come off._

It's all he can smell.

Everything is too  _Loud._

_Too much._

_"Daddy."_

~   ~   ~   ~

Matt's going to live at St. Agnes. Matt has nowhere else to go. No one else to stay with. His Dad was the only family he had ledt and now he's alone in the world.

His dads possessions were all packed up and put into storage. All Matt takes with him to the orphanage are his clothes, a few of his books, and Mikey.

He wants to hold on to Mikey for comfort but he can't. He can't let himself. He can still feel his Dads blood on his hands and he doesn't want to taint Frankies toy.

~   ~   ~   ~

There aren't many people at Jacks funeral. Just some of Jacks friends from the gym and Matt.

Matt sits alone.

The incense in the church burns his eyes and hurts his head. It's hard to breathe.

The blood on his hands still won't wash away.

Matt doesn't soeak when people offer their condolences.

~   ~   ~   ~

Everything is too much again. What little control Matt had over his senses died with his dad.

Matt is in agony. Everything seems even louder than before. Everything is More.

Too Much.

All Matt wants is to curl up against his Dads side and to hold Frankies hand.

He just wants them back.

~   ~   ~   ~

The nuns keep dragging him to different doctirs and clergymen. No one can figure out what's wrong with him.

Matt really hates hospitals now.

~   ~   ~   ~

One of the nuns is talking about him to someone. The man doesn't sound familiar but the tap of a cane is.

Whoever they are, they're blind.

He's in Matts room now.

"They think you're getting worse. But you're not, are you kid?" There's the sound of jeys flying threw the air headed straight fir Matt's face. Matt quickly raises his hand and catches them before they can hit him. "You're getting stronger. Let's get started."

Matt's not too sure about him but the nuns seem to trust him so he might be ok?

~   ~   ~   ~

The Park.

The old man took Matt to the park. And bought him ice cream.

It's weird but no one has bought Matt ice cream since his dad died.

The man sits them down at a park bench and doesn't say anything.

"What kind of training is this?"

"You like ice cream?"

"Yeah." What kind of question is that?

"Then shut up and eat it. I'll ask the questions. First thing you gotta understand is nobody feels sorry for you and nobody ever will. Because when it comes to being born lucky you won the freakin' lottery."

"I did?" Matt doesn't feel particularly lucky. He's very unlucky if the last year and a half are anything to go by. 

The mans cane whacks Matt in the chest.

"What did I say about asking questions?"

"Shut up."

"How old were you when you got blinded?"

"Nine."

"Nine? So you had nine whole years of looking at movies, blue skies, up girlies' skirts that I never had. I was born blind. You don't hear me whining about it do you?"

"No."

"So, you're nine years old, walking along, minding your own business and Whammo, you're hit by a truck. Killed dead on the spot."

"I didn't die."

"You survived? Praise God, it's a miracle. So yoy survive the truck and get this chemical shit in your eyes. What next?"

Matr hesitates a moment. He's only ever told Frankie about this but it seems like tbe man already knows.

"I hear things."

"What kinda things?"

"Everything. Coughs and fights and cats meowing. Sometimes blocks away. I sensw things. I know where things are and when they mive. But I can't see."

"You know what they call stuff like that? Gifts. The special kind. The kind that very few people have. Or deserve."

"I never thought of it that way." Huh.

"That's because you're stupid." 

Wow, ok, Rude.

"I'm not stupid, I'm smart."

"Because you taught yourself to run your little fingers over the bumps and read Braille? Smart don't come out of books, kid. Smart is making the right decision at the right time. Like now. What's it gonna be Matty? You gonna spend your life crying and rocking yourself to sleep at night? Or are you gonna dig deep and find out what it takes to reshuffle those cards life dealt you? Your call, kid."

Matt doesn't speak. He fiddles with his ice cream wrapper and considers. He's still not sure about this man but he's curious. Maybe this man really can help him.

"Good choice, kid."

"No one's bought me ice cream since my dad died."

"What's it taste like?"

"Vanilla." The man scoffs at him. He must have failed some kind of test.

"Everyone can taste vanilla. Pay a little more attention, use those gifts. You got sugar grains, milk from three different dairies from two states, batch of chemicals straight off the periodic tables and dirt off the guys hand that served it to you. He spent his morning gardening. Whole world around you, Matty, and it's friggin' huge. All you need are the guts to let it in. Try that dog over there. What's his story?"

Matt takes a short moment to focus on the dog. "He's hungry. His stomach is growling, he's dying to eat the hot digs that the guy just up wind of him is carrying." 

"Not bad kid, what about the girl?" Matt focuses on the young woman walking by with a young man that just passes their bench.

"Her skin, her skin's too hot. Her heart's beating fast. Is she sick?"

"Worse, she's in love. And the old man?"

The old man sitting across from them, feeding the birds.

He, oh.

Oh No.

His heart is weak and there's the smell. That terribly familiar smell.

Death.

_Frankie_

"He, he's dying."

"And there's nothing you can do about it. Big world out there, not all of it flowers and sunshine. And the only way guys like you and me can survive is to grab it by the throat and never let go."

"Will you hit me if I ask yoy a question?"

"Depends on the question."

"How did you find me? How did you know?" He's been wondering since the man had entered his room.

"Old bitty at the orphanage thinks it's her idea."

"But it wasn't, was it?"

"Maybe that's one of my gifts. Or you just got lucky." Matt carefully folds his ice cream wrapper and slips it into his pocket.

"That's not an answer."

The man chuckles. "You catch on quick."

"You're going to help me?"

"No I'm going to train you. How to control your gift, make it work for you, use it, and how to fight."

"My dad never wanted me to fight."

"You're dad ain't here. But I am. You'll need skills for the war."

"What war?"

"We'll get to that part. When you're ready."

"I don't even know your name. What do I call you?"

"Stick."

~   ~   ~   ~

Stick is weird and kind of a dick but he is helping. His "gift" is easier to control now. The fighting? The fighting is still difficult.

"You're hurting me "

"Make me stop." Matt struggles uselessly against Sticks hold. He can't break free.

"I can't."

"Then quit."

"Murdocks never quit." Stick pushes Matt down to the floor and stands above him.

"Then beat me.I've got all day kid." Matt gets back on to his feet, circling Stick carefully.

"You're just a bully."

"World's full of 'em, kid. What are ya gonna do about it?"

Matt rushes at him but Sick dodges him easily. Matt throws kicks and punches" everything he can think of, but none of them land. Stick pushes Matt to the ground again.

"You got heart, kid. But heart's not enough. You've got to learn to control that rage."

"You said anger is a weapon?"

"Anger is a spark, good. Rage is a wildfire, out of control, therefore useless. Just like you laying there." Matt gets back on to his feet and trys again to hit Stick. Instead of just blocking him, this time Stick hits Matt across the face with his cane, knocking him back on to the floor.

"I thought Murdocks never quit." And suddenly it's all just too much for Matt. The pain, the frustration, the guilt. The blood on his hands that never washes away.

"It's my fault. It's my Fault! I did it, I killed him!" Stick pauses and turns more fully towards Matt. Interested

"Killed who?"

"My dad. They paid him to loise against Creel but I wanted him to win. So he did it because of me. Because of Me! I just wanted him to come home." Matt's crying now but Stick ignores it.

"But he didn't and he never will. We all pay for our choices, kid. Maybe your old man fought for you, maybe he did it for himself. The only thing you know for sure is he's gone now. But I'm here. Now get up. Time to stop taking a beating and start giving one. Get up."

Matt doesn't move.

"Get Up."

He's not ready yet.

" **Get Up!"**

Matt stands and jumos back into training.

~   ~   ~   ~

Everything seems so much easier now. His gift is the most under control it has ever been and he can fight. And fight well. He's been doing so well, in fact, that he's allowed himself the comfort of caring Mikey in his book bag 

If everything goes well today he'll give Stick the bracelet he made him. He's been practicing with strips of spare printer paper for weeks to get it right and he finally finished his ice cream wrapper bracelet last night.

Matt's happy with all his progress. He flips through the air with ease, catching the clubs Stick throws at him with no trouble 

"Break. What controls the body?" The question is familiar. Sticks had Matt recite his answers a hundred times before. Over and over until the answers were part of him.

"My Mind."

"And what's you're strongest weapon?"

"My body."

"Connection, mind, body."

"The mind controls the body, the body controls our enemies, and our enemies control jack shit by the time we're done with them."

"Right. Fighting is just the start. You have to control your feelings too. Your deep down inside feelings."

"How do I do that?"

"Meditate."

"You mean that thing where you pretend not to sleep?" Stick chuckles.

"Yeah that one. Open yourself up to it, learn it, make you stronger, more focused. Even heal your wounds faster."

"You can do that?" It sounds amazing. And a bit far fetched.

"How do you think I've survived this long?"

"I'll learn, just like you."

"Good. Tomorrow we start with knives. Try not to get stabbed "

Matt picks up his book bag and starts to get ready to pull the brace2 out of his pocket when Stick freezes.

"What's that?"

"What?"

"In your bag. What. Is. It?"

Matt's blood runs cold as Stick takes his bag from his hands and pulls out Mikey. Other people touching Mikey has always made Matt feel sick and wrong the few times that it's happened. This is worse.

"It's my friend Frankies. I told you about him once, remember?"

"I do. Your training is over. I can't help you anymore."

"What? Why?"

The plastic of the toy creaks in Sticks hands.

"I expected too much of you." Stick throws Mikey across the room and it smashes against the wall. Matt cries out and rushes over to gather the peices of the broken toy while Stick slips out silently.

"No no no no. I was supposed to keep you safe. Frankie I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

~   ~   ~   ~

The peices of Mikey come back together vut they're obviously damaged. Chipped and dented, rough where it scratched against brick, held together with glue. Matt tried his best but it doesn't feel like enough. Guilt weighs heavily on Matt's shoulders. He promised Frankie just one thing. One promise ans he couldn't even keep it.

It's been days and Stick hasn't come back.

Matt doesn't thenk he even wants him to come back.

The crumbled remains of his ice cream wrapper bracelet sit at the bottom of Matt's trashcan 

Matt doesn't think about it


End file.
